The city of Blocktopia was under attack. Not by aliens or monsters, but by something much sneakier: The Rug Puller! Dressed in a shiny, untrustworthy cloak made of broken promises and fake reports, he sucked money out of digital money pools with a nasty laugh. He left confused investors watching their money charts fall super fast.
Who would save them?
Well… they weren’t your normal heroes
First came Captain HODL
Bruce Benson, a quiet accountant. He got his powers during a strange lightning strike while arguing online about how to buy crypto slowly. Now, wearing a suit covered in fake diamonds, he had Unbreakable Diamond Hands. He literally could not let go of anything he held. His enemy? Door handles. His power? Standing very still while the market crashed, acting super confident, and yelling, “IT’S JUST A SMALL DROP!” even as things fell apart.
Then there was Lady Ledger
Agatha Finch, a retired librarian who breathed weird blockchain air. She could remember a super long secret password instantly… but only by saying it out loud backwards while juggling special USB wallets. She also kept a paper receipt for everything, which was pretty weird. Her costume? A calm face and a notebook full of receipts.
Next, zoomed in, the Gas-Man
Kevin “Kev” Dobbs is a super-fast pizza guy who was hit by an experimental network gas. He could cut down Ethereum fees by running super fast through the digital waiting room, yelling, “I’LL GROUP THOSE PAYMENTS MYSELF!” But when he sneezed, the whole network sometimes got stuck! He always looked nervous.
Arriving with a snap was De-Fi-nite (“D-F”)
Diana Flores, a friendly baker, splashed with yield juice. She could make money appear out of nowhere! She just snapped her fingers, and new money pools popped up. The problem? They showed up in the wrong places, like the city aquarium (the stingrays now earned 4% interest!). Her belt held tiny farming tools.
Finally, a hologram flashed: NFTeen
Zoe Chen, a techy teen who made digital pictures (NFTs) of her selfies before she even took them! Her catchphrase? “Go ahead, right-click that, bad guy!”
Rugpull’s revenge: Revenue robbery
The villain, Doctor Rugpull, stood on the old Bitcoin machine. He wore a fancy velvet jacket with computer art on it. He loved stealing money, running away with it, and ending his speeches with “So long, suckers!” He aimed his shiny “Rug Cannon”—like a vacuum cleaner mixed with a slot machine—at the big “Moon Lambo Fund” money pool full of ETH and USDC coins.
“SEE THIS, FOOLS!” Doctor Rugpull boomed. “YOUR MONEY IS MINE! GET READY TO LOSE IT ALL! So long, suckers!” He fired up his cannon.
Dodgy degens defy doctor disaster
“NOT TODAY, VILLAIN!” roared Captain HODL, trying to jump. He grabbed a fire hydrant instead, stuck fast. “I… AM… HOLDING… THIS PIPE! IT’S STRONG!”
“Agatha, PASSWORD! NOW!” yelled Kev, zipping around nervously.
Lady Ledger closed her eyes. “Password recall activated: abandon, art…” she started perfectly, juggling three wallets, “…zebra, zone. Backwards: zone, zebra, zoo”… She opened her eyes. “Doctor Rugpull! I require a signed receipt for this money removal!” She held out her receipt book.
D-F snapped her fingers helpfully near the pool. GLORP! Instead of helping, a new, weird money pool appeared inside the plaza fountain. The koi fish blinked, now earning 5% interest on pretend fish-coins. “Money made!” D-F cheered. “Who wants to farm?”
NFTeen’s hologram popped up next to the Doctor. “Lame scam, Doc,” she smirked. A selfie she hadn’t taken yet was minted as “NFTeen_vs_Rugpull_Plaza_1of1.” “Right-click this, bad guy!” the hologram sneered.
HODL strength saves the day
Doctor Rugpull stared. “What is this? A club for people who make bad money choices? Your ‘powers’ are useless!” He fired his cannon. A wave of sickly green energy shot at the money pool.
Captain HODL, still stuck, just stepped in front of it. The green energy bounced off his diamond suit like rain. “HOLDING IS STRENGTH!” he yelled.
Kev zipped back, shaking. “Payments grouped! Fees are lower! 92 Gwei! Do it now!” he screamed, accidentally making a silly coin’s price jump.
Lady Ledger stepped forward. “Doctor Rugpull! Your escape wallet is 0xDeAdBeEf…RugPull…123! I know it! Expect a formal complaint! With proof!”
D-F, trying to help, snapped again. GLORP! Another money pool appeared, this time under Doctor Rugpull’s feet. It was filled with wobbly fake money. He stumbled, his fancy slipper sinking in.
“YUCK! Get this goo off my jacket!” he yelled, trying to pull his foot out. The wobbly pool shook.
Meme justice splashdown: APY edition
NFTeen attacked. “Suckers? Try THIS!” Her hologram shot super rare “Epic Rugpull Fail” NFT memes at his face, blinding him with pictures of sad frogs and crashing charts.
Blinded, covered in goo, laughed at by pictures, and facing Captain HODL’s unmovable calm, Doctor Rugpull tripped. With a final scream of “WEN LAMBOOOO?!” he fell backwards… into the koi fish fountain, which was also now a money pool. The fish, now earning interest, nibbled his fancy jacket.
The chaos slowed down. Captain HODL finally unstuck himself. “See? Patience wins.” He offered Lady Ledger a very old candy bar. She said no, already writing a receipt for the broken fountain.
Kev was freaking out about fees jumping to 110 Gwei. D-F smiled at her pool, making money from fish. NFTeen was already minting the victory selfie.
The epic victory!
News reports were confused: “Fancy Crook Soaked by Fish?” “Fountain Fish Make Money?” “Diamond Man Says He Beat ‘Market Noise’.”
The League looked at their messy, weird win. Doctor Rugpull spluttered in the fountain, his escape ruined by chaos. Blocktopia was safe. For now.
“Fees are still too high,” muttered Kev, already speeding off.
“Paperwork is needed,” sighed Lady Ledger, looking at the wet Doctor.
“Money achieved!” chirped D-F, snapping. A small money pool appeared in Captain HODL’s boot.
“Right-click that,” grinned NFTeen, putting her NFT on a big screen.
Captain HODL just grunted, shaking goo off his boot. “Just… hold tight during the mess,” he told the city. And he probably would. Forever.
—Stay tuned for the next episode!
