Welcome to the Crypto House, a not-so-ordinary share-flat where the rent is always late, the Wi-Fi is suspiciously unstable, and the moon isn’t just a dream but the plan.
Imagine if your favorite cryptocurrencies all lived under one roof. Bitcoin, Ethereum, Dogecoin, and their unpredictable friends are trying to survive daily life together. The result would be equal parts genius, disaster, and meme-worthy madness.
Here’s how the Crypto Roommates stack up. Which crypto would you want as your roommate? 😏
Bitcoin: The couch king who refuses to leave the crypto house
The original coin turned original couch potato.
Bitcoin is the stubborn roommate who hasn’t left the crypto house in years. He sits on a luxurious leather couch like royalty, guarding a massive golden vault engraved with the ₿ logo. He doesn’t say much, but when rent is due, he promises, “Don’t worry, I’ll cover it… eventually.” Everyone treats him like the landlord, even though he never actually does the chores.
Ethereum: The Wi-Fi engineer who won’t stop upgrading
Forever merging, never finished.
Ethereum is the restless tinkerer. He spends his days upgrading the Wi-Fi router, moving furniture around, and promising that this update is the one that changes everything. His hoodie glows with the ETH diamond logo, while neon holograms of code flicker across the room. The house loves him when the internet actually works, but his obsession with “the next big upgrade” drives everyone else crazy.
Dogecoin: The meme dog who won’t stop yelling “to the moon!”
The class clown of crypto never runs out of jokes—or bark.
Dogecoin is the loud, goofy Shiba Inu in an astronaut suit, bouncing off the walls and tossing golden coins stamped with the Ð logo. He pays bills in memes and once tried to settle a pizza delivery with Shiba Inu selfies. Whenever the mood dips, he yells, “TO THE MOON!” and suddenly the whole crypto house is laughing again.
Solana: The speed demon with constant blackouts
Zooming into outages since day one.
Solana is the flashy sprinter who brags about being the fastest in the crypto house. His sneakers glow with the Solana logo, leaving neon trails as he zooms past everyone. The problem? The lights in his room flicker off every few hours. “Network down again,” he sighs, holding a glowing neon poster as backup.
Cardano: The roommate with charts, plans, & zero chores done
Big promises, small progress.
Cardano is the perfectionist with glasses, standing proudly by a fridge covered in chore charts and sticky notes. The ADA dot-pattern logo glows like a fridge magnet. Every plan looks brilliant on paper, but somehow no one has actually seen him do the dishes. “It’s all about research,” he says.
Ripple: The roommate who’s always on the phone with his lawyer
Lawyered up and still moving money.
Ripple is the sleek, sharp-dressed roommate in a luxury suit, constantly glued to his phone. The XRP X logo glows on his case as he paces across marble floors, piles of legal papers scattered around stamped “CASE PENDING.” He swears his lawyer is “about to win the case any day now.” The rest of the crypto house has stopped asking.
Shiba Inu: The flashy copycat who covers walls in posters
DOGE’s chaotic little sibling.
Shiba Inu is loud, flashy, and determined to outshine DOGE. He wears an oversized hoodie glowing with the SHIB logo while plastering neon posters all over the walls. He copies DOGE’s every move, but louder, messier, and with more glitter. Nobody’s sure if he actually pays rent, but he’s always at the party.
Polygon: The helpful cleaner who fixes everyone’s mess
The fixer of the blockchain family.
Polygon is the unsung hero of the house. With glowing purple gloves marked with the Polygon logo, he cleans up after Doge’s chaos, fixes ETH’s broken Wi-Fi router, and smooths over conflicts before they spiral. He doesn’t brag; he just makes life easier for everyone.
Polkadot: The connector who keeps messing with the neighbour’s Wi-Fi
Bridging worlds nobody asked for.
Polkadot is the eccentric wizard of the crypto house, juggling glowing pink orbs and insisting on “interoperability.” The Polkadot P logo shines from his staff as he tries to connect the house Wi-Fi to the neighbor’s. Everyone humors him, though no one actually knows what he’s doing.
Litecoin: The forgotten cousin who won’t stop bragging he’s faster
The eternal understudy of crypto.
Litecoin is like Bitcoin’s silver cousin, always tagging along and insisting, “I’m faster!” He waves a shiny silver shield glowing with the Ł logo, coins spilling from his pocket. No one really listens, but he refuses to stop trying to prove himself.
Tether: The “stable” roommate everyone still side-eyes
Stable in name, shady in rumor.
Tether dresses like a banker and clutches stacks of glowing green bills stamped with the Tether logo. He smiles nervously while guarding a giant safe. On the surface, he seems stable, but everyone whispers about whether he actually has the money to cover rent.
Outro: Escaping life in the crypto house
Life in the Crypto House is chaotic, hilarious, and unpredictable. BTC never leaves the couch, ETH keeps tinkering, DOGE barks at the moon, and everyone else fights to keep up.
One thing’s for sure: if these coins were roommates, rent would never be on time… but the drama would always be bullish.
Just for laughs, next time, Degenerals!
